That doesn't make ANY sense.

• "That's straight dog!"
• At the local Target, in the produce section, in reference to bacon. I don't know how bacon can be "straight" unless you pull it to make a straight line. Otherwise, pop-culture defines the word as heterosexual. Neither of these possible ideas make sense. 
• "It's a conspiracy to make women happy."
• Excuse me?? This argument has no merit, unless the happiness of women is literally unlawful. And if it were, at least two men, banded together must be making women happy. 
• "What will it be today, Lady Gaga, or...?"
• I was walking by a men's locker room when I heard this bit of conversation. 
• "I am an aquarius. I'm not a FUCKING capricorn." 
• In reference to the signs changing recently. Here's the scoop kids, it's only relevant if you were born after 2009. http://newsfeed.time.com/2011/01/13/horoscope-hang-up-earth-rotation-changes-zodiac-signs/ There, have the official article, teaching you about the (13) new signs. 

New Semester

This new semester means new things for me to listen to and for me to write down for everyone to see. Here are somethings I've enjoyed from the first two days of school. 

• "Oh no! A kid who smells like Rodney just sat next to me" -This was a text message that a girl sent a friend in the row ahead of me in my 'Occults in Western Civilizations' class. I couldn't help but laugh out loud. And slightly feel bad for some kid named Rodney who apparently smells a bit off.
• "I hate new semester. These damn kids ride the bus and I feel like I could just kill them all" Bus Driver on Bloomington Transit
• "I hate cartesian products.." This one isn't particularly funny but I had to think for a second... who really does like cartesian products? Honestly? This statement was entirely unnecessary. (If you don't know what a cartesian product is... here you go. I've educated you for the day. http://cnx.org/content/m15209/latest/)

If you or someone you know says funny things and I happen to be in the general area, well... I can't say I won't publish it.